racism Archives - Lisa for Real

Last year, Anti-Racism Daily featured an article about the appropriation of mahjong by a white women owned business in Texas. After reading the article, I broke down.

I had never thought about cultural appropriation and the harm it does to BIPOC. It hit especially hard as I have many layers of family stories involving mahjong. I wrote my thoughts, reaction and feelings in a blog post and shared it on Facebook.

My friend who is Black shared it on her profile and then one of her friends who is a POC commented that she was perplexed by my reaction. She was confused at how I was just “awakening” to the impact of racism.

While anti-Asian sentiments have existed throughout history and since the late 1800s in the US when the first larger groups of Chinese men came over to build the railroads, racism was never spoken about in my house growing up. It was not mentioned in my conversations with my immigrant elders or part of the lessons they passed onto me.

I have had the privilege of being in conversations with Black Americans who shared how racism was a big part of their family conversations. It was something they learned very early on, around the age of three, and was constantly part of their dialogue growing up.

As I reflect, I realize that Black Americans’ survival in this country was dependent on those conversations as much as Asian Americans’ survival was dependent on the lack of those conversations. Keeping quiet, following the rules and hitting the bamboo ceiling kept us safe, whereas learning how to act when stopped by a cop, what to do when someone calls you the “N” word, and how to wear or not wear a hoodie keeps Black kids and their families safe.

However, with the pandemic and the drastic increase in Asian hate crimes, Asians are talking about race, telling stories and fighting back much more broadly than before because our survival needs have changed. Part of it is generational, part of it is cultural and part of it is the zeitgeist.

All humans need air, food, water and shelter to survive. After that, our requirements for survival vary an infinite number of ways. The better we can understand that survival doesn’t look the same for everyone, the better we will be able to help others navigate this world and come together.

Today, I am diverging from my normally short daily posts to share my reaction to yesterday’s article about mahjong on Anti-Racism Daily which I originally shared on my Instagram. If you don’t already subscribe to Anti-Racism Daily, go do it!

I am in tears after reading today’s email about the appropriation of mahjong from Anti-Racism Daily.

I often say that as a Chinese person, born in the US, college educated and married to a white man, I skate between two worlds as a POC who benefits from white privilege and supremacy (which ultimately holds Chinese people back but passes as a benefit) and as a POC who doesn’t.

I have been in ignorance and denial. I thought I had uncovered that denial last year when I finally owned the label of POC but just as there are many layers to racism, there are many layers to my denial.

Today, I feel it. I read the words of Kayla Hui’s article and it broke me open. Any armor I have had up to block micro aggressions and deny them and the times I have been erased have come tumbling out. My insides on the outside which have been undeniable all along.

My Chinese friends, if you are feeling raw, angry, confused, desperate, sad, or broken, I see you. I’m with you. I am shedding tears for us. The trauma of living as different in white culture cannot be ignored. It is in us no matter if we deny it or own it. This is precisely why the fight against racism and for equity and equality is not something we can ignore. It impacts us whether it is racism or appropriation of Black, Brown, Indigenous, Chinese or the great bucket of “Asian” culture.

All of my white ally friends, read this piece on Anti-Racism Daily and understand the depths of culture that run deep in my veins. That show up in my skin, in the way I slurp my soup and in the way I mother my children. By appropriating my culture, you erase what exists in me.

I was going to share a simple screenshot of the email as my image for the post but instead I chose to show my face. Understanding the actual impact of racism on a person is important to see because it often happens behind closed doors and shared after the processing is done. No, no today. This is me tears streaming as I type, fingers shaking and throat aching.

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Don’t for a second feel sorry for me. I don’t want an ounce of it.

Take that sympathy or guilt and turn it into action. Donate to a BIPOC cause, support a BIPOC business, shed visibility to a BIPOC story, read a book with a BIPOC protagonist, talk to your children about racism, plan something for MLK day, write about how you see white supremacy in your life, or take your pick from the million of lists on how to be anti-racism.

I can’t speak for all BIPOC but most I know what NONE of your tears or sympathy – we want action.

2.110 Flavors of survival

014. Raw Reaction after Racism

Thank you!