A couple of weeks ago on my weekly call with my accountability partner, I came upon the words to describe the work I want to do. I have searched for years, trying to land on something that feels congruent and encapsulates me. And as I write this entry, I feel butterflies and resistance in sharing as it still feels precious. It also feels scary because once I share it then I have to take the next steps and actually go out and do the thing.

So here goes – those words were Remarkability Coach.

As a Remarkability Coach, I shine a light on what makes someone remarkable and support them in pursuing a life where their outsides match their insides.

I find people to be utterly fascinating, magical and amazing but many times, they don’t realize it. There is a saying I read in a marketing book that says – You can’t read the label when you’re in the bottle – and that is precisely what hangs up many people in taking that next step forward. They can’t define who they are, what is remarkable about them because what others would consider amazing about them is completely normal to them. And when told that XYZ is special, they brush it off as “anyone can do that” or “there’s nothing special about that.”

Every person deserves the opportunity to light their inner spark and show their brilliance to the world – no matter their identity. I am really excited to start to help people own their remarkability.

Two different thoughts – “We are what we do” and “We are human beings, not human doings.”

I kind of agree with both.

I have tried many times to decondition myself out of the idea of “I am what I do.” It hasn’t worked.

I am constantly striving to match what I do with who I am. In many areas of my life, I would say that they are quite congruent – I am what I do – except in the entrepreneurship arena. I have floundered quite a bit in being me in business. By attaching so much weight to the things I want to do, I end up not actively pursuing them at all and instead, frozen in fear that I take the wrong step and make the wrong declaration to the world that “This [product/service/business] is who I am.” It has been a whole lot of pressure in doing the right thing!

However, I have to recognize that no one thing that I put out there can or ever will be “me.” The thing is not me, I am me. Whether I put out a coaching program for moms or for teenagers (both on the table now), it does not alter who I am. The coach I would be in each of those programs would be pretty much the same person minus some of the words and examples I would use. My offerings are an opportunity to bring me to the world. They do not define me. I am a human being – not a human doing!

I bring who I am to what I do, not vice versa.

I can’t and won’t be fully satisfied until my work fulfills me. However, I am digging into the idea that my work can be any number of things because my business nor my target audience/market determine who I am.

Brevity is really valued in our culture.

We don’t want to waste anyone’s time. Productivity is output over time and money, and we all are programmed to be productive.

…Keep it short and sweet. One quick question. This won’t take long. Can I get 10 seconds of your time? What’s your elevator pitch?…

These are some of the things we hear and say day in and day out.

The one thing that cannot be built on brevity is relationships. In fact, the more time we spend on relationships, the more value we build into them.

Relationships cannot be wholly built on 140 characters or less. They aren’t set it and forget it. We cannot be kept warm on the backburner.

They must be nurtured. Wined and dined. Taken for long walks on the beach or through the woods. Countless hours spent doing “unproductive” things like sharing stories, telling jokes and meandering through roundabout ways of understanding.

What has helped move human civilization forward to where we are today has been the passing of knowledge from mother to mother.

Yes, innovations are important to the modern day world. And if science were not passed down, then we’d be nowhere. You can include math and language into that mix as well.

However, the human race would not continue if there were no more humans. And the only way (historically) we’ve been able to create new humans is through birth. And birth has only been possible and successful through the passing of knowledge from generation to generation.

Survival is an instinct prioritized down in our bones. While today’s version of survival is quite different, birth is still required for us to continue as a species.

Humans have only survived because we were taught how to take care of ourselves and each other when pregnant (to create the healthiest offspring), how to heal after birth (so we can have more babies and to take care of our babies) and how to care for one another because it was only through a village that mothers were able to mother.

Modern life does not have quite the same emphasis on birth which is welcome as there is more autonomy and choices. However, fundamentally, the future of humanity necessitates more humans and birth requires very much the same resources and support as it always has.

A birthday is a birth day for mother and child – always has and always will be. It is one of those truths we can ground ourselves in when everything else seems in flux.

Motherhood feels like a constant journey to figuring it out. And there’s nothing wrong with that because we haven’t been mothers our whole lives.

This pressure to do everything right is wrong, unrealistic and harmful.

Motherhood is a stage of life. It is not meant to be perfected just as our toddler or teenage years are not meant to be flawless. We are meant to grow through trials and triumphs. We are meant to be a mess. And we are meant to have others around to support us through that stage.

May we always anchor ourselves in these truths of motherhood.