Lisa for Real

2.113 Feeling beyond inspired

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Take notice when things rile you up.

It could be because you’re triggered. At those times, find support to work through that reaction.

Or you could be riled up because you feel strongly, maybe even passionately, about that thing. For me, I get inspired by many things but what doesn’t happen as often is reacting passionately and being invested in something. Those are times when I may be uncharacteristically vocal or feel adamantly when my usual reaction is one more of indifference. 

I  currently going through some very passionate thoughts that Are taking me by surprise. I am wondering – do I want to feel this way more often? And if so, how could I make that happen?

2.112 People are messengers

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I’m not a religious person nor do I hold concrete spiritual views. However, I really enjoy exploring the idea of what I think about in regards to a larger entity or entities who influence our lives.

While speaking to my latest podcast guest, Raphael, I realized that when we pray or wish for something, that prayer or wish often gets answered in the form of a person who somehow helps bring that wish into fruition.

The other day I sent an encouraging text to a friend who I saw running. She said she wasn’t sure how she was going to finish the run and that my text was from heaven. And so here I am, a 3D, imperfect entity doing the work of her version of god.

This makes me think of Wayne Dyer who was the first person I learned of that shared the idea – “I am God.” When I first heard it, I thought it sounded quite strange and maybe even egotistical. However, after immersing myself into his work, I have learned that one idea can be interpreted so many different ways. One of which is very much in line with the conclusion I came to during my conversation with Raphael.

The people around us are messengers. And so are you. And so am I. We are all “god” in the sense that we are here to answer each other’s prayers and wishes.

2.111 Observe like it’s one big experiment

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Life is one big experiment. There is no right or wrong way of experiencing it because no one has lived my life.

Standards exist and are considered to be the norm. However, normal does not mean that standard is applicable to my life (or anyone else’s really).

Instead of criticizing what is, wishing for what will be or what should have been or adhering to some sort of arbitrary standard, I observe.

I observe as if life is all a big experiment and I don’t have a horse in the race for it to go one way or another.

Observing leads me to not be so attached to who I am, who I was and who I want to be. Non-attachment is a beautifully explained in this episode of the Secular Buddhism podcast. In the episode, he shares an unattributed quote, “Non-attachment doesn’t mean we don’t own things. It means we don’t allow things to own us.”

Who knew that my practice of observing had a name to it and is part of a bigger existence? What an enjoyable observation.

2.110 Flavors of survival

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Last year, Anti-Racism Daily featured an article about the appropriation of mahjong by a white women owned business in Texas. After reading the article, I broke down.

I had never thought about cultural appropriation and the harm it does to BIPOC. It hit especially hard as I have many layers of family stories involving mahjong. I wrote my thoughts, reaction and feelings in a blog post and shared it on Facebook.

My friend who is Black shared it on her profile and then one of her friends who is a POC commented that she was perplexed by my reaction. She was confused at how I was just “awakening” to the impact of racism.

While anti-Asian sentiments have existed throughout history and since the late 1800s in the US when the first larger groups of Chinese men came over to build the railroads, racism was never spoken about in my house growing up. It was not mentioned in my conversations with my immigrant elders or part of the lessons they passed onto me.

I have had the privilege of being in conversations with Black Americans who shared how racism was a big part of their family conversations. It was something they learned very early on, around the age of three, and was constantly part of their dialogue growing up.

As I reflect, I realize that Black Americans’ survival in this country was dependent on those conversations as much as Asian Americans’ survival was dependent on the lack of those conversations. Keeping quiet, following the rules and hitting the bamboo ceiling kept us safe, whereas learning how to act when stopped by a cop, what to do when someone calls you the “N” word, and how to wear or not wear a hoodie keeps Black kids and their families safe.

However, with the pandemic and the drastic increase in Asian hate crimes, Asians are talking about race, telling stories and fighting back much more broadly than before because our survival needs have changed. Part of it is generational, part of it is cultural and part of it is the zeitgeist.

All humans need air, food, water and shelter to survive. After that, our requirements for survival vary an infinite number of ways. The better we can understand that survival doesn’t look the same for everyone, the better we will be able to help others navigate this world and come together.

2.109 Following my curiosities

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I have a hard time deciding what I want. Solid decisions are often finalized via a lengthy process of elimination. When I feel rushed or on the spot, I usually make a regrettable decision.

This goes for minor choices as well as big ones – from what to order for dinner to what college should I go to.

What feels more comfortable and doable is following what I’m curious about. I’m not beholden to my curiosities as I don’t see my curiosities as static thoughts that never shift.

So next time, when making a decision, I think I’ll put on my curiosity lens and follow wherever it leads me.