Happy Friday! What a week of intense learning and unlearning – so apropos as we return to school this week.

In a conversation with a friend, she pointed out how American society values productivity and promptness over kindness and care. Like, someone will dangerously cut off another person in traffic in order to get to a meeting on time.

I couldn’t agree more.

We are completely obsessed with our relationships with time and money which are 100% human-made concepts while completely disregarding community and connection with nature, which are foundational to our happiness and existence. Our values are hyper-focused on the individual, having the most money and making it as quickly as possible. We say hell with the consequences on other people or the environment.

If we removed the concept of “every man for himself,” our culture would look completely different. And if applied on an individual level, our lives would look completely different.

I learned today from a new friend, who is in a course I’m part of, that Maslow (as in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs) was influenced by the Siksika (Blackfoot) culture. I think about Maslow’s hierarchy often and my world is really rocked in the best of ways after reading that article. I love and appreciate the idea that the state of self-actualization is not the peak achieved by an individual, but instead, it is seen as a state that we are born into and is constantly sustained and supported by community. This is truly affirming to some ideas I’ve had rolling around in my head and changing the way I’m seeing my work and the world at large.

Growing up in an immigrant family, it was absolutely fact that my extended family wouldn’t have survived without each other. My childhood was not centered on a nuclear household but centered on survival together. (I’m realizing I have not YET written about how I believe the nuclear family is one of the most, if not the most, toxic aspect of “modern” culture…more to come on that.)

The article linked also states that Maslow never portrayed his hierarchy as a pyramid. The pyramid makes it a very linear process where the above layer can only be reached once the layer(s) below it are achieved. It plays into a binary idea of achievement. The writer shares that Seneca First Nation member and psychologist, Terry Cross, suggested for this model to be circular and layered.

“A circular model captures the inter-relatedness of our needs and helps highlight that we can experience needs simultaneously and in changing order. This way of viewing needs makes more sense when seeing an individual as deeply rooted in a community, especially because a community is capable of meeting multiple needs in parallel. While one individual is cooking, another may be keeping children safe, while another may be negotiating peace with people from other tribes.”

I’ll leave that quote for you as food for thought as you enter your weekend. As always, if you’ve got any thoughts…

I’d love to hear,

When talking to a coach or therapist or healer, don’t ignore the little voice that is pointing at an experience and saying “Address this one!”

Assuming you are in a safe space where you will be supported in your sharing, allow that voice to guide you. It is begging for attention for a reason and if it is at the top layer of consciousness, it probably means it is the next step in your process.

Learn to trust that voice and find healers who you trust to hold space to let that voice out.

I wrote to my coach today – I have a lot of excuses but no real reasons.

Excuses are often mistaken as reasons because we can convince ourselves pretty easily that something is a barrier. But taking a second look and getting real with ourselves may reveal that we are posing that excuse as a reason.

And to the person we are fooling (ourselves included) believes that what we are saying is the truth.

I’m not pointing this out so we punish ourselves every time we make an excuse. I’m pointing this out because this is out of personal integrity. If we want to live a life that is aligned and purposeful, we also want to live one that is truthful. If we want to use excuses, lets recognize them as such. And when we have real reasons, lets do the same.

My house is abuzz with energy. School bags are packed and ready to go. For the first time in almost 6 years, I will be working from home withOUT children for the majority of the day. 

Eek!

I always love September because the sense of possibility in new experiences, relationships and learning feels like the stuff made from dreams. 

Today, I feel the same possibility as one stage of motherhood transitions into another. It is also a transition in who I am as an employee, an entrepreneur, a daughter, a wife and so on. 

As humans, we cannot silo out one part of our life from the others. A transition in one stage and identity ripples into other parts of who we are as well. And from experience, it can be heavy and overwhelming (in addition to joyful!) as there is no clean before and after.

In the last week, I had some personal things happen that touched on all parts of me. As I continue to integrate those changes, today’s transition is happening. It is like rolling from high tide to high tide without the break of a low tide, and that’ll happen as there is no guarantee of low tides.

If you are feeling the feels today because of back to school or because you are already overwhelmed by the next three months or because a bazillion planets are in retrograde, give yourself grace, love and acceptance. Most (if not all) of the things on your to-do list can wait just a bit. Mark this transition by sitting in meditation, lighting incense or taking a walk. 

Nothing stays the same but that doesn’t make the transition any less significant. You’re allowed to feel all the feelings.

Are you experiencing a transition right now? How are you marking it?

Sometimes we want something really badly and no matter what the carrots or the sticks are, we are frozen.

If you’re in such a situation, give yourself grace.

Pushing only gets us so far until the barrier is too heavy to be moved by our body weight.

Stop pushing and find the path of least resistance. This may mean you rest and get some support, look for an alternate route or change the goal.

Don’t get mired into thinking you are at fault, that you are unworthy or any other negative descriptor. Life is not always ‘Pass GO and get $200.” The dice will not always rolls your way. It is the action taken when you are stuck that defines you more than the action taken when things are flowing.