A friend wondered to me why people can be so vocally angry about something big but “out there,” like the national government, but they aren’t vocally angry about their personal circumstances, like their experience during the pandemic.

It is always easier to be angry with something “out there” because it is away from us. It is something we can be righteous or judgmental or plain angry about, and there is not really anything we can do. There is no real ownership or responsibility or urgency to change anything.

However, if we were to get angry about something happening to us or close to us, we would have to do something about it. And if we couldn’t do anything about it, we’d have to admit we don’t have any control over the circumstance which can be a hard pill to swallow.

Our desire to be in control of our lives can make us do some funny things.

Feel the fear and do it anyway, they say.

It is not easy to just do that. Fear brings up a variety of possible responses in the body – to fight, to run or to freeze. None of those allow us to “do it.”

But sometimes that fear is small enough that we can work through it. We can reframe whatever limiting thoughts pop up or we can breakthrough an established pattern to create a new one. It is working with those small fears that we can develop resiliency.

So feel the small fears and do it. If the fear is too big, it may be okay to avoid it for now and focus on something smaller.

Moms get mixed messages of what to prioritize.

Our children are obviously a priority. So is rest. So is self care. So is the family unit. So is nutrition and feeding our kids. So is a clean home. So is community work. So is friendships. And so on and so on.

Ultimately, we are the ones who set the priorities which can shift and be re-ordered.

No one gets to say what those are for you except you.

It’s that time of year again where folks at full time jobs receive their year-end reviews.

I’ll be frank – I’m not a fan of this process or any process where I receive feedback. Feedback makes me cringe, drawing up thoughts of “I’m not good enough.” Even if the feedback is constructive, my system always sees it as criticism as I never received positive feedback growing up – not because I didn’t do good things but because in my family, good things were expected and the norm. Feedback only given when things were bad.

I’m slowly learning (and unlearning) that feedback is one person’s point of view. And it is not an attack on my character or worthiness. I am inherently worthy. We all are inherently worthy.

If the feedback serves me, I can take it. If it doesn’t work for me, I can leave it. I’m sure there is a lot of inner work to do in this area but today, these thoughts are enough.