Lisa for Real

112. What they miss when they’re gone

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We are saddened when our loved ones pass.

The grief runs deep.

We are saddened that they miss out on the milestones, births, and celebrations.

The grief comes in waves.

But do our passed loved ones really miss out on those milestones?

Personally, I don’t believe that they are fully gone. I believe that they are in the ether, in the air that surrounds and envelops my being.

I realized that, in actuality, I am saddened by not being able to share those experiences with them in the human, physical world.

111. Is it really yours?

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It feels like censorship is only decried when something is taken away from us. Like a parent taking a toy from us.

But what we don’t always realize is that censorship exists at all stages before that thing is ever even ours. And censorship isn’t necessarily the right word.

Decisions were made before that toy landed in our hands. Someone had to think of the original idea. Somehow that idea was selected among the many they had. Then it may have been brought forward to a group who then decided that the original magenta color was not marketable so they changed it to yellow and then decided that the elephant logo was too divisive so a hedgehog was selected. And so on.

Decrying censorship is ignoring all the many decisions, and many possibly biased decisions, made before that toy/product/book/article/publication was put out into the market. Decrying censorship as evil means that the original decisions were perfect and any new information is not as valid.

What we are really upset about is not censorship. We are upset about losing the toy that we thought was ours to have and losing any semblance of control in the process as a rabid consumer. But was did we ever really have control?

109. Maybe not so priceless

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Mothering feels hectic and frantic a lot of the time.

But some days, there are these moments where what we do is clear and in focus and everything else in the background fades to a low hum.

The voices in our heads quiet.

We are present with our family.

It’s pure magic.

Priceless – if we were able to capture it in a bottle and sold on a shelf.

But they are only priceless because we think those moments are scarce.

What if they aren’t?

108. A poorly planned amusement park

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Life can feel like a poorly planned and poorly maintained amusement park.

The paths may be confusing, twisting, winding.

Maps and guides are there but they may be hidden behind overgrown bushes or misplaced off the path.

The crowd may feel overwhelming, and you may feel alone, trying to find the people you came to find.

But what most amusement parks offer, even the poorly planned, are opportunities for play, fun, and even delight.

The thrill of a ride, the challenge of a game, and the quirks of the staff are all opportunites to enjoy the experience despite the windy paths, hidden maps and overwhelming crowds.

A sense of playfulness is available to us.