Truths aren’t all created equal.

There are the deep truths that are felt deep within our bones. They are undeniable beliefs uncovered through trial and error, pattern recognition or maybe even eureka moments. These truths are the pillars to living our best life and being our truest selves. Our body may scream them to us, or wiser-than-us friends may whisper them to us.

Then there are simple truths that encompass a surface level fact of who we are. They are true simply because that is who we are in present moment – there is no room for interpretation. This includes our age, our race, our location, our parents, our bodies and so on.

When someone doesn’t accept us for our deep in our bones kinds of truths, it is easy to dismiss them as “not our kind of people.” But when someone doesn’t accept us for our simple truths, it can feel like “we are not their kind of people.”

Perhaps it is because our deep truths have been shaped over a lifetime (or several lifetimes) and for someone to not see eye to eye with us, it is a lack of understanding on their end. But if someone doesn’t agree with a simple truth, it feels more raw because it is not like they misinterpreted who we are – we can’t change that aspect of ourselves.

But maybe those moments of rejection to the simple truths are actually the most powerful because when someone rejects us for something that we cannot change, we can only do one of two things – accept that aspect of ourselves or reject it as well. And if we choose to accept ourselves, we have a grand opportunity of integrating our simple truths into deep ones.

When something happens to us that is congruent with our beliefs, we feel safe. We feel that something is familiar, and we want more of it.

When something happens to us that contrasts with our beliefs, they jar us and can make us feel unsafe.

We seek safe moments but what if the beliefs we want to reinforce are outdated? Our survival mechanisms from childhood worked wonders back then but as adults, they can actually hinder our growth.

Playing up my young age and naivete worked when I was a child in order to get help from adults, but as an adult, it has hindered my communication in many areas including as an employee, a customer and a partner. I have had to work through the belief that people will only help me if I act vulnerable and unknowledgeable.

Our brains want to feel safe but at a certain point, that kind of safety is outdated and no longer serves us.

Can you identify a thought, belief or behavior that helped you survive your childhood? And how does it serve or not serve you now?

Humans have this amazing capability to think, but we also have this flaw in overthinking.

One way it manifests is when we make a decision. We think we should do something because of some external factor.

I think I should try Keto because Bethany is doing it.

I think I’ll buy the black car instead of the red because red cars get stolen more.

I think I’ll read this fiction book because I haven’t read fiction in a while.

For the love of it all, stop thinking!

What do you want? Inside your heart, not your brain.