Before I had children, I half-joked that when I became a mom, I was going to pretend that we were poor and I could not speak English and have them take on the responsibilities that I had as a child – basically have my children re-live my childhood.
Wow – what a total trauma response to my youth.
I’m glad that I never followed through because what I wanted to happen would never have come to fruition!
So what did I want?
I wanted (and still want) my kids to become grateful and good human beings.
But it would have been a disaster. Besides the obvious terrible ramifications of living a childhood where your mom completely lied to you, it would have never worked because my children are different than I am. They are growing up in a completely different time under a different culture.
I cannot raise my kids like they are subjects in a controlled petri dish. They are their own people and will have their own destinies. And who says that only scarcity and a hard life creates grateful and good humans?
Further, trying to perpetuate my own trauma into the next generation is not generative. This type of thinking is something we should all look to disrupt and heal within ourselves.