Lisa for Real

What is wild?

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Wild is the hum of Mother Earth. Generations of chanting, dancing, laughter, and sorrow that she has absorbed into her core and has become the surround sound vibration we feel when we are in nature. The vibration supports us and reverberates through our feet into our souls.

Those who have lost touch with the peace of Mother Earth express their wild recklessly, dangerously, ferociously. They gnaw and thrash as they try to work their way back to Mother Earth’s bosom, fighting back the injustices they feel they have suffered without cause. They use their violence, hateful words, and close-minded arguments to tune out or drown out Mother Earth’s hum, refusing to hear it, refusing its support and love.

Wild also appears in those of us working our way back to Mother Earth, to our feminine, to our power. But the journey is not about provocation, about harm or  fighting or force. Our wild focuses on tuning into that earthly hum. Tuning into that rhythm of the Great Mother and seeing how the rhythm of our hearts fits into hers.

Inspiration: This piece was written as a response to a prompt in Jeanette LeBlanc’s course, 30 Questions To Bring You Closer To Your Wild Heart that asked me to answer the question – What is Wild?
I journaled regularly from fourth grade into the latter years of high school but for the following 13 years, my writing was exclusively academic or professional. I realized in 2015, my Year of Self Identity, that I wanted to find “my voice.” I came across Jeanette’s course and initially recommended it to a friend who was looking to work on her writing. While she didn’t join the course, I realized I would personally benefit from it and decided to embark on its 30 day journey.
I wish I could say I completed all 30 days of Jeanette’s course but I didn’t…even after taking it three times. But what did happen was a fire ignited in me to write again. For the first time, I felt like *I* was writing but at the same time, I wasn’t. Jeanette’s prompts go deep into the soul and lure words to appear on screen in a sequence I cannot fully attribute to myself. I actually came across this blog post in a text file on my desktop. I was not quite sure who wrote it, thinking perhaps I saved it after coming across it online somewhere. But I was very surprised to learn it was my writing and while I am proud, I’m also enchanted with what I am able to write when the muse flows through me.

Why resolutions mean squat to me

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Goals are BaloneyI’ve never been a new year resolutions enthusiast. Chances are, you probably aren’t too. While I love the fresh energy that a new year brings, I’m not a fan of the constant reminders and pressure of “new year, new you.”

Why? Because resolutions are a waste of time.

According to this fun site, only 8% of people actually achieve what they set out to accomplish in the new year. Yay for those people but yikes for the 92% of others!

Now, I poo-poo resolutions but that doesn’t mean I’m not a goal oriented person. I am always looking to improve myself and my circumstances. The issue I have with start of the year goal setting is that everyone focuses on the same stuff every year and set themselves up for failure.

After all, as Albert Einstein said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results. That is what we are doing year after year. Dragging ourselves into the hamster wheel and starting out sprinting in hope that we will reach our goals and stopping shortly after because we are either burned out or we realize we’re getting nowhere.

The problem is we are goal setting the wrong way.

No, I am not proposing for you to follow the SMART goal setting formula that a lot of people swear by. I’m also not saying you need to find an accountability partner. Or set up a disincentive like donating to least favorite charity if you don’t meet your goals.

Those things are all possibly helpful but traditional goal setting misses the key component to a truly happy new year.

Now you may have found a goal setting strategy that works for you. That’s awesome! That means you can stop reading this. Who I’m talking to are those people who feel a complete resistance to creating resolutions or who have set them with good intentions and “failed.”

Alright, you’re still here! And you’re in good company because that’s me too. Before I get into the one thing that HAS worked for me, I’m going to share the key parts of my personality that make me anti-goal.

I’m not a numbers person.

Numbers on a scale or in my bank account don’t drive me to achieve a goal. And I think a lot more people are like that than not. So that means that SMART measurable goals aren’t effective and with my money blockages, may even drive me away. (My money issues are a work in progress and I’m slowly chipping away at them. Perhaps I will be able to follow SMART methods once I figure them out. This solution works for me while I do so.)

I’m not a material person.

My Christmas list this year included self development books, socks and a replacement top for my favorite Pyrex container. That means goals or rewards of a new wardrobe/car/house/etc. is not going to make me want to achieve my goals any more.

I hate being told what to do.

Goals feel really restrictive, even when I create them myself. I will rationalize and talk myself out of any goal. “Oh, I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.” or “Today’s dessert doesn’t really count.”

I’m not a surface-level person.

Resolutions are so outward facing. So many of our goals are an attempt to manipulate our external circumstances. Lose weight. Buy a new car. Eat better. Get organized. Quit smoking. Find a partner. Now, do not get me wrong – these are all amazing things to strive for, but for me, they are not deep enough. Goals tend to be really superficial and that is just not my jam.

If you’re still reading this, chances are you identify with some of what I just shared.

So what goal setting method works for a non-material, non-numbers person who wants to transform on a deeper level in the new year?

What works amazingly well for me is setting a theme for the year and using that as the foundation for everything I work on for that year. A theme is usually just a few words. It does not involve numbers or any other sort of metric.

All you have to do is fill in the blank – 2017 is the year of _____.

The word(s) you choose are the end result you are striving for. So they are a goal in a sense but not in the traditional way. And there is only ONE, not an overwhelming list of them.

If you are still stuck in the paradigm of traditional goal setting or already created your new year goals, take those goals you have and shift them to a feeling. For instance, if you are looking to lose weight, forget a specific number and figure out how you want to feel. Instead of “lose 30 pounds,” deem 2017, “the year of unlimited energy.” Or if you are really looking to find your soul mate, make 2017, “the year of love.”

If you are a self-development geek like myself, then perhaps a feeling isn’t what you want but it’s uncovering the next layer of yourself. 2015 for me was the “year of self identity,” where I sought to answer the question “Who am I?” 2016 was the “year of release” – creating and releasing what’s inside myself out to the world. That meant continuing to understand who I was in order to release myself but also to find those opportunities to do so. As for 2017, the theme I have been kicking around for the past couple of months is the theme of purpose. To follow my purposes but also to do things with purpose.

As you can see, the theme is deceivingly simple.

The beauty of this is that you could have the same word as your best friend or least favorite person and the interpretation is up to you. Your theme may have a whole paragraph supporting it or your interpretation of it may shift mid-year. That is all a-okay.

Once you figure out your word, you instill it in your mind and body. It’s a bit easier to remember one word than it is a whole list of goals with arbitrary numbers. Then you use your theme to drive what you do day-to-day throughout the weeks, months and ultimately, the entire year. “Unlimited energy” may look like something different each day in terms of food, sleep, or who you choose to interact with. And “love” – the word doesn’t just stand for finding a partner. It can mean self love or love for your friends, family, and neighbors.

What’s most important is that you are intentional towards that theme everyday.

This does not mean you have to do something everyday but when you have that intention you will see that little things you do even contribute towards the theme. Then the decisions you do make will start to build on one another.

If you have read Jeff Olson’s Slight Edge, you may have already started following a similar strategy where you take slight action in every day choices towards your goals.

Now, if your Type A, list loving self is experiencing nervous tics because this method is too open to interpretation, feel free to make a list of your goals AFTER you figure out that theme. And then revisit those goals frequently and see what can be adapted.

Goals are super rigid and as someone who lives in the grey and where circumstances change, I find this method works best for me. I have felt much more personal fulfillment in the past couple of years doing this method than I have of anything else.

How has goal setting been for you in the past? Will you be setting a theme for the next year?

Why I am no longer a failure

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i am not a failure

Guess what? I’m not calling myself a failure anymore.

I’m not sure anyone else has looked at me that way but I definitely have. I have looked in the mirror after every project of mine imploded or fizzled and said, “Wow, I totally suck. Why can’t I ever successfully finish anything? I am just not cut out to do my own thing.” (Of course, then I go out there a month later to try all over again.)

I have tried quite a few things. If you are an adept Googler, you’ll be able to find what I lovingly call, my internet breadcrumbs – remnants of projects past. All of these attempted businesses fell apart within a year for a variety of reasons.

I couldn’t keep my health coaching practice going because I was getting too drained from the clients. My networking group stopped after a year when I got pregnant. My essential oils business went ker-plunk after just several months. And my health and wellness magazine style site is still hanging by a thread but it’s no longer stimulating me.

I thought getting bored, tired or drained meant I had failed, but I realized this morning, I didn’t fail at any of these!

I have always considered myself a hands on learner. Why is business any different?

I enrolled at my college because of the “hands on” curriculum and I still say it is one of the best decisions I have made. I have known for a long time that I learn by doing, by experimenting.

If I did not pursue my past ventures, I would not have learned about what I like or don’t like, what works and doesn’t work, and what models succeed and don’t succeed.

With my coaching practice, I learned client work can be draining and having a multiple session package that requires meeting regularly does not fit my style. I also learned that I liked the health side of it all but it was really the life side of coaching that I loved. I learned I have a knack at asking good questions to help people really dig to get to the root of an issue.

With my networking group, I learned that I loved having the energy of a group of people and organizing the group and leading the effort. I also love holistic health practitioners and feel they are an underserved population that I feel called to support. Lastly, I found that having multiple monthly, in-person meetings was fun but unsustainable as I was about to enter motherhood.

With my essential oils business, I learned I can’t sell other people’s products as the core of my business even if I love them (and I love my oils!). I have been solicited by MLM companies and turned them all down until the oils because I felt most aligned with them! And when I realized I couldn’t sell for them, I knew the MLM model wasn’t for me.

So what does this mean? It means I am not just a hands on learner at school but at life.

I know I learn by doing. When it seems to other people that I am flaky or a failure, I will reminder myself that this is how I process information – via experiences. By doing I am learning and progressing and triangulating on what works for me.

How about you? Have you always considered yourself a hands on learner? Have you translated that mentality into your pursuits in life since leaving the classroom?

Inspiration: I was brushing my teeth listening to a podcast on May 11th and something that the speaker said made me think – of course I’m not a failure! I immediately rinsed my mouth out and quickly tapped this blog out on my phone on the bed. Inspiration really can it whenever! I’m so happy that I have the Google Docs app with my writing document on my phone which I can turn on anywhere whenever I get an idea or urge to write.

What I’ve learned from Prince’s Death

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Prince, death, lessonCelebrity deaths are a funny thing.

Millions of people around the world are mourning the death of Prince. Some mourn for him like he was a family member, and some even more so than they would their own family.

Prince was not a personal idol of mine. But I do feel sad we have lost an amazing artist. While I didn’t grow up with posters of him on my wall, I’m sure I love artists who have been influenced by him and obviously, have friends who were impacted by him based on my Facebook feed this morning.

This makes me think – why do we mourn so hard for celebrities and often mourn together yet are so disconnected as a society and lack that type of emotion when watching videos of people being senselessly beaten or pass homeless people on the street?

Why have we made ourselves so vulnerable in our relationships with these celebrities but not so much in our everyday lives?

It is because you give what you get. These stars made themselves vulnerable to us, and in turn, we allowed them into intimate areas of our lives creating a very deep connection with them. They have shown us their humanity – their faults, their gifts, their stretch marks. And when they become famous, it’s often hard for us to ignore since those faults and gifts are splattered on tabloid covers for us to see and this relationship magnifies.

These artists use their talents to touch people.

The good ones use it to inspire us, to relate to our struggles and to share their truths. By making themselves vulnerable, it makes them relatable and makes us, their audience, want to connect. After all, humanity is about connection and community.

What does our unbounded connection to celebrities mean to me? It means that we are lacking vulnerability as a society. We are okay when celebrities show themselves (maybe because it’s justified with their fat paychecks?) but it’s not okay for us. Vulnerability as an everyday human is seen as a weakness, not as a strength. Ironically, that is what made Prince and other celebrities stars. And where did these celebrities start?

They certainly didn’t start as hiding.

They started by putting themselves out there and using their vulnerability as a platform.

They wanted to hone their craft, to share it with others, and yes, possibly to make money from it too. They started where we are. And through their work, they have touched millions of lives and the ripple effect of their work will continue for a very long time.

The outright and seemingly absurd depression that I see in my Facebook feed over the death of a celebrity is indicative of one thing – the need for more vulnerability and community in our lives. That translates to the need to
be vulnerable ourselves, create connections and start a ripple effect in our lives.

There is nothing that Prince did that we can’t do.

He started in the same pool as us. He just found a way to make it to the diving board and show the world his fancy twists and flips. His realness and vulnerability is what propelled him as a star making him seemingly unattainable but it’s also the thing that makes him most similar to us. Isn’t it time for you to tap into your vulnerability and share your gifts? The world needs more connection, you need more connection and the only way to get there is being vulnerable and showing the world the real you.

How are you going to start being more vulnerable starting today?
Have you ever gotten wrapped up in achieving a goal or a title and worked so hard to attain it that stopped having fun you lost yourself along the way? I would love to hear about it!

Inspiration: This post came flooding to me as I was brushing my teeth and scrolling through my Facebook feed. Yes, this is my real life. Too much Facebook, too little connection. Time to start building those relationships! I’d love to hear from you – email me, share your story, how can you be more vulnerable?

Why I Am No Longer An Entrepreneur

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Impostor EntrepreneurFor the past 8 years, I have been obsessed with being an “entrepreneur.”

After graduating from the top school in the country for entrepreneurship where it seemed every other student was changing the world with their innovations, it was ingrained in me to create a business and be one of those successful graduates on the cover of the alumni magazine. I have started multiple businesses that have gone flat. I have taken courses costing thousands of dollars giving me knowledge, systems and frameworks that have not yielded an adequate ROI (return on investment). I have spent countless nights pecking away on my computer writing newsletters, blog posts and emails. All so I could call myself an “entrepreneur.”

I believe strongly in entrepreneurship.

I think everyone should start their own business because that is where we can serve our highest good. I have had many conversations where I try to convince my friends and even strangers to start a venture with their skills or ideas. While I believe a business is empowering, I see now that I was imposing my desires and ambitions onto them.

While my businesses usually start from a place of inspiration, they quickly go from “This is THE idea!” to “Ugh, I don’t feel like writing this newsletter.” I start doing things I don’t want to do but have to do, prescribing to the standard formulas and tips I have heard from top internet marketing experts. I focus on chasing the dream and stop enjoying the process and evolution. This has happened with my health coaching practice, business coaching and networking group, essential oils MLM business and a healthy living blog. All projects that started with gusto and inevitably fell flat within a year or so.

It has been tough telling people I have a business on the side.

The words usually get caught in my throat when I try to explain to people that I have a full time job and something on the side. I have never had an elegant elevator pitch and fumble around looking for the right words when people ask me “What do you do?” I am not that great at compartmentalizing myself. The thing is I am not just a single faceted person – I am made up of a lot of different interests, skills and ambitions. I want to be able to accurately portray who I am when I respond to that question. So I end up trying to describe all that I do and it comes out forced and incongruent.

Every time I have called my projects “businesses,” I have felt like an impostor. With a degree in strategy, I know better. You may own a business by getting a license at City Hall but there is a lot more to it in order to be a real business – mindset, goals, strategy, and some market research to start.

The whole “Fake it until you make it” mantra does not work for me. It feels completely unauthentic and unaligned. The struggle is I want to be an entrepreneur, down to the deepest darkest parts of myself and I know that I will become one. But if I am to wholly own who I am right now and my truths I need to stop identifying myself as one.

Starting right now I am no longer an “entrepreneur.”

I am no longer going to try to fit my square body into that hexagonal hole. I hope to evolve to a hexagon someday but for now, it’s not happening.

I am Lisa Chin, a woman on a journey to be the best version of herself by creating from a place of inspiration. As I was just typing, the overachiever and optimist in me wanted to take it up a notch and say I am on a “mission to realize the best version of myself.” But this “mission” would be right up there with my fake title of “entrepreneur.” I don’t need to adopt another title or goal. For once, I am going to try my damndest to just be.

To be and to create is an idea I can actually own.

I will never stop creating. That is who I am – a creative being that gets smacked upside the head with inspiration almost daily. Where I have gone wrong is taking my inspiration and trying to immediately figure out how to structure it and monetize it which uproots it from a place of inspiration and to aspiration and inevitably dilutes the idea.

I am taking a page from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic, and creating for me. (Read my biggest lesson from Big Magic here.) It will no longer be about my target market or the end consumer. It will not be about the bottom line. And it most certainly will not be about the coveted title of “entrepreneur.”

I am going to start having fun.

I am going to create a nook in cyberland where I can express that energy. I am going to create pieces and writing and programs and whatever that comes to me because I want to. Not because they will make millions of dollars. Not because they will get me out of my day job. Not because they will help my family. And maybe this is blasphemous, but not because they will help people – that includes you, my dear reader. I am creating from a selfish place. For me. From me. About all that I love and find fascinating.

I know I am here on earth to serve a greater purpose and will help a lot of people. And I know one day, when I achieve that, I will be able to own the title of “entrepreneur,” but for now, I am Lisa Chin, a woman on a journey to be the best version of herself by creating from a place of inspiration.

Have you ever gotten wrapped up in achieving a goal or a title and worked so hard to attain it that stopped having fun you lost yourself along the way? I would love to hear about it!

Inspiration: I originally wrote this post on November 2, 2015 as I was examining what has held me back from succeeding at my previous projects. I’m not a dumb person, I’m not without ideas, but I have “failed” so many times. These were the thoughts that came to me as I was exploring why I have not succeeded. I created Lisa for Real shortly after and am working on projects right now that align with me and that I am constantly inspired by.

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