Lisa for Real

061. Beyond the job description

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If you’ve ever embarked on a quest to answer “Who am I?,” you have probably found many a dead-end.

We naturally try to answer with words that describe what we do.

But we are more than mom, teacher, entrepreneur, artist, lover, partner, activist, learner, writer, etc. And even if we were not limited by 140 characters or 10 second attention spans, there would not be enough room to fit it all in.

How about a different approach? How about asking – “What is my brand?”

A brand feeds all of our senses – sight, sound, taste, touch and smell which ultimately evokes experiences and emotions. How do you want people to feel when you interact with them?

A brand is about “how we do” and not about “what we do.”

That’s who you are.

060. Looking in the mirror

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Looking in the mirror is hard.

But there are people who look at us all the time.

Our children. Our partners. Our families. Our friends. Our neighbors.

Dozens of people who are not repulsed, but elated by the very being we see in the mirror.

And why is that?

Because of what they focus on vs. what we focus on.

We see the wrinkles and freckles and bags under our eyes whereas our children see the arms that embrace them. Our partners see the ears that listen to them. Our families see the fingers that text to check in on them. Our neighbors see the friendly face that greets them.

The same happens in our business. When we look at our business, it’s like looking in a mirror. Our vision is cluttered with all of the things that aren’t the “ideal.”

It takes a different set of eyes to appreciate and capture the things that light others up about you.

(Are you a creator and change maker running a mission oriented business who is struggling with the copy for your website or for the marketing of your next program? Sign up for a Light Them Up Marketing Audit.)

Ending Martyrdom

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matyrdom“I’m a mother! I don’t have time for that!”

Have you ever caught yourself saying those words? Maybe to your friends? Your husband? Or even yourself?

I did just that this week, and it was a huge wake up call.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have felt very unfocused and tired.

I have been working on a couple of side projects while balancing work and life with an increasingly clever and active toddler. My goals in all areas have been building up on my to-do list and I cannot scratch them off soon enough.

In a Facebook business group that I’m a part of, someone posted “Where are you feeling like you need the most help and/or guidance in your business right now?” (I love being part of Facebook groups to get support!)

I replied, “Staying focused. I’m feeling overwhelm from how much I need to do and burnout from working full time and side hustling.”

Another member responded and asked me what I am doing in terms of self care. Her exact words were, “What is your self care practice?”

I let out a BIG scoff.

My immediate response was, “Self care practice? I’m a mom trying to start a business. I don’t have time for self care!”

I stopped in my tracks and thought, “Yikes! That is my problem!”

My busy-ness has crowded out what should be a top priority – my self care.

I have completely ignored my self care in the name of progress, and ironically, it is my lack of self care that is holding me back from progressing in my work.

My meditation practice is non-existent at this point and going to yoga feels like visiting a foreign land. I find myself going to bed at 1:00 AM or 2:00 AM. And even when I get into bed, I play a couple of rounds of Candy Crush before shutting my phone down because I need to “unwind” before bed. Oh the shame in admitting that!

That Facebook post was my wake up call.

I have a false belief that suffering must be part of my journey to greatness.

Logically, I know better but a deep part of me sees it as a requirement to “make it.” This is definitely one of my biggest forms of self sabotage, and since becoming a mother, it seems to have magnified. Can you relate to that?

Mothers and entrepreneurs are suckers for martyrdom. As I straddle both worlds, I have definitely doubled down on the “woe is me” attitude. But I know it doesn’t have to be that way.

I need a plan to combat that attitude.

First things first, I need to return to meditating. I have let my need for busy-ness take over and not meditating has amplified the busy thoughts in my mind. The goal is 10 minutes daily, and I have a friend I’m checking in with to hold me accountable.

Second, I need to stop wearing “busy” as a badge of honor. Busy is a choice and a poor excuse. I need to stop being too “busy” to meditate, go to yoga, sleep, read a romance novel, spend time with my husband, and buy new clothes. These are all things that I have de-prioritized in the name of progress. One way to remove that badge is to remove “busy” from my vocabulary. I have actually heard my daughter use it several times to pre-empt my saying it, and it feels like nails on a chalkboard. I need to be a better model for my daughter.

Lastly, I need to re-frame how I think about time. I am and will always be an impatient person. When I start a project, I want it to have already come to fruition and to meet my goals so I can move to the next thing. However, time is the ultimate equalizer. We all have 24 hours in a day, and as much as I want to manipulate time to my advantage, I can’t add any more hours to my days. I need to work within the confines of 24 hours and 7 hours of that being for sleep. Also, my projects deserve all of the time they need to be created. I need to take the approach of slow and steady wins the race and any other way leads to burnout.

On my third Mother’s Day, I pledge to release my martyrdom.

I want to enjoy my motherhood and I want to enjoy my journey into entrepreneurship. It does not serve me or any other women out there to justify suffering as a requirement to achieve our goals and it does not serve our children either. Will you join me in unlatching and releasing those shackles and truly embracing the journey?

Inspiration: This post’s inspiration came from a very uninspired week. I had been feeling a bit of blah (apparently, there is a lot going on astrologically) and this conversation on Facebook really made me come to my senses. Letting go of my beliefs around suffering, busy-ness, and time will be a many year journey but I feel with these three things, I’m on the right path.

Why I Am No Longer An Entrepreneur

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Impostor EntrepreneurFor the past 8 years, I have been obsessed with being an “entrepreneur.”

After graduating from the top school in the country for entrepreneurship where it seemed every other student was changing the world with their innovations, it was ingrained in me to create a business and be one of those successful graduates on the cover of the alumni magazine. I have started multiple businesses that have gone flat. I have taken courses costing thousands of dollars giving me knowledge, systems and frameworks that have not yielded an adequate ROI (return on investment). I have spent countless nights pecking away on my computer writing newsletters, blog posts and emails. All so I could call myself an “entrepreneur.”

I believe strongly in entrepreneurship.

I think everyone should start their own business because that is where we can serve our highest good. I have had many conversations where I try to convince my friends and even strangers to start a venture with their skills or ideas. While I believe a business is empowering, I see now that I was imposing my desires and ambitions onto them.

While my businesses usually start from a place of inspiration, they quickly go from “This is THE idea!” to “Ugh, I don’t feel like writing this newsletter.” I start doing things I don’t want to do but have to do, prescribing to the standard formulas and tips I have heard from top internet marketing experts. I focus on chasing the dream and stop enjoying the process and evolution. This has happened with my health coaching practice, business coaching and networking group, essential oils MLM business and a healthy living blog. All projects that started with gusto and inevitably fell flat within a year or so.

It has been tough telling people I have a business on the side.

The words usually get caught in my throat when I try to explain to people that I have a full time job and something on the side. I have never had an elegant elevator pitch and fumble around looking for the right words when people ask me “What do you do?” I am not that great at compartmentalizing myself. The thing is I am not just a single faceted person – I am made up of a lot of different interests, skills and ambitions. I want to be able to accurately portray who I am when I respond to that question. So I end up trying to describe all that I do and it comes out forced and incongruent.

Every time I have called my projects “businesses,” I have felt like an impostor. With a degree in strategy, I know better. You may own a business by getting a license at City Hall but there is a lot more to it in order to be a real business – mindset, goals, strategy, and some market research to start.

The whole “Fake it until you make it” mantra does not work for me. It feels completely unauthentic and unaligned. The struggle is I want to be an entrepreneur, down to the deepest darkest parts of myself and I know that I will become one. But if I am to wholly own who I am right now and my truths I need to stop identifying myself as one.

Starting right now I am no longer an “entrepreneur.”

I am no longer going to try to fit my square body into that hexagonal hole. I hope to evolve to a hexagon someday but for now, it’s not happening.

I am Lisa Chin, a woman on a journey to be the best version of herself by creating from a place of inspiration. As I was just typing, the overachiever and optimist in me wanted to take it up a notch and say I am on a “mission to realize the best version of myself.” But this “mission” would be right up there with my fake title of “entrepreneur.” I don’t need to adopt another title or goal. For once, I am going to try my damndest to just be.

To be and to create is an idea I can actually own.

I will never stop creating. That is who I am – a creative being that gets smacked upside the head with inspiration almost daily. Where I have gone wrong is taking my inspiration and trying to immediately figure out how to structure it and monetize it which uproots it from a place of inspiration and to aspiration and inevitably dilutes the idea.

I am taking a page from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic, and creating for me. (Read my biggest lesson from Big Magic here.) It will no longer be about my target market or the end consumer. It will not be about the bottom line. And it most certainly will not be about the coveted title of “entrepreneur.”

I am going to start having fun.

I am going to create a nook in cyberland where I can express that energy. I am going to create pieces and writing and programs and whatever that comes to me because I want to. Not because they will make millions of dollars. Not because they will get me out of my day job. Not because they will help my family. And maybe this is blasphemous, but not because they will help people – that includes you, my dear reader. I am creating from a selfish place. For me. From me. About all that I love and find fascinating.

I know I am here on earth to serve a greater purpose and will help a lot of people. And I know one day, when I achieve that, I will be able to own the title of “entrepreneur,” but for now, I am Lisa Chin, a woman on a journey to be the best version of herself by creating from a place of inspiration.

Have you ever gotten wrapped up in achieving a goal or a title and worked so hard to attain it that stopped having fun you lost yourself along the way? I would love to hear about it!

Inspiration: I originally wrote this post on November 2, 2015 as I was examining what has held me back from succeeding at my previous projects. I’m not a dumb person, I’m not without ideas, but I have “failed” so many times. These were the thoughts that came to me as I was exploring why I have not succeeded. I created Lisa for Real shortly after and am working on projects right now that align with me and that I am constantly inspired by.

How to enjoy the process

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inspiration, enjoy the process

Work from a place of constant inspiration not aspiration.

In a phone conversation with one of my dearest friends, this little gem of wisdom came out of my mouth. Let’s just say inspiration hit me good. This conversation was actually during the midst of my reading Big Magic and re-learning how to approach creativity and entrepreneurship so creating from a place of inspiration was top of mind. See my post here on Big Magic.

My friend and I were having a deep chat about creating our own businesses, a favorite topic of ours. Neither of us has hit on THE  jackpot idea yet but we know its coming. We constantly remind each other that the journey is as important as, if not more important than the destination.

I see the destination as the pot o’ gold at the end of the rainbow.

It’s the money, fortune, freedom, and maybe even fame. You know what I’m talking about. It’s appearing on Super Soul Sunday, buying a house for my mom, and staying home and homeschooling my child. Oh, is that just me? Well, one can dream big 🙂

But the thing is if pursing the pot is my only objective, I’ve made a grave mistake. I would miss the rainbow! And rainbows are pretty damn beautiful.

I have to admit, I have gotten caught up in thoughts of the future.

When you know deep down that it’s going to happen, it is hard to ignore it. However, the failures, abandoned ideas and fruitless efforts of the past ten years weigh on me. You see, I was focusing too much on all I can do once I reach the pot, I ignored the process. It ended up placing an enormous amount of pressure on my projects and I would become overwhelmed and freeze.

In the past year, I’ve completely changed my perspective.

Instead, the goal I am now embracing is to work from a place of inspiration, digging deep and pushing out the work that my soul is called to do and calling me to do. That means that what I do now excites me, it’s fun and makes me think deep both entrepreneurially and personally.

Working from a place of inspiration means to think, create, and become from within. This does not mean that I don’t look outside of myself for inspiration. In fact, that is where inspiration comes from for me but it is how I interpret that inspiration that makes my work my own. Working from a place of aspiration is to seek satisfaction from the work outside of myself. There is only one thing I can control and I’ll give you a hint of what that is – it’s not how much I make in 10 years, how many lives I impact, and how many comfy sweaters I have in my closet. It working from inspiration and enjoying the process along the way.

I realize now that it is the work I do along the way to my goals that creates the rainbow and moments of inspiration that color the rainbow a vibrant ROYGBIV.  I’m going to reach the pot one day so why not make the biggest, most beautiful rainbow on my way there?

Have you found yourself working from a place of inspiration or aspiration? I’d love to hear what perspective has worked for you.