Lisa for Real

153. Forget one-sided solutions

by Leave a Comment

It is easy to debate and legislate and orate when we see issues as one-sided and thus, solutions as one-sided.

It is easy to say something is black and white and no in-between.

It is easy to stand on a pedestal and harp on those “below.”

But that is not reality.

Social issues, and arguably all issues, are multi-faceted and until we can pull off our rose colored, 1D-glasses, we will never be able to fully resolve them.

Trying to solve a problem by addressing one facet is like trying to unknot a bundle of yarn by simply pulling on one side and “unknotting” that one side while making the knot tighter on the other side.

152. When positivity is not the answer

by Leave a Comment

The days are long but the years are short.

Because of this reality, someone well intentioned may say “stay positive” or “this is only a phase” or “you’ll get through this” to mother who is –

  • sad to return back to work after having a baby last week
  • not getting enough sleep because she is waking up often with her child
  • struggling to breastfeed and crying because her insurance does not cover visits from a lactation consultant
  • quitting her job to stay home with both kids because daycare costs are more than her salary
  • working multiple jobs to keep food on the table

Saying those positive statements may feel good to the person saying it but it completely dismisses the experience of the mother and places the burden on her. It says that if she’d only change her mindset, then things will get better.

It is NOT her responsibility to be positive when our society is absent of the support and resources that mothers need to be able to mother and live and work the way that they desire.

Staying positive when the system is broken is NOT the answer.

146. The real story about leadership

by Leave a Comment

Leaders are often given the accolades or the blame for the outcome of their leading.

But leaders don’t wholly deserve either.

Take the handling of the pandemic.

I have heard people say countries like New Zealand and Taiwan have done well because they have a female Prime Minister or President.

I don’t think they deserve the full credit.

Their leadership is a direct result of a culture that voted in a female leader. While those women made decisions that helped their country, it only worked because of the culture of the country who said, “Yes, we will listen to her.”

It is easy and also very headline-grabbing to attach any success to one person but more often than not, there is a democratic culture that they are working within whether that be a team or organization or a nation that gives them that power.

The goal is not to be able to elect a female leader, the goal is to create a culture who sees that as an acceptable and vote-worthy decision.

127. Never fully woke

by Leave a Comment

Woke is a cop out phrase used to establish status. To say, I know this and you don’t. I am more woke than you. I’m with all these other woke people over here. I’m woke and the work is done. I’m woke and that’s enough.

The way some folks view “woke” is that a light has turned on in what was previously a dark room and now all can be seen. No dark corners, no shadows, just light.

That is as privilege a statement as ever.

The light turning on is only the first step. Thinking that being “woke” is enough is like saying you have won the race because you found the best running shoes.

Anti-racism is a journey of awareness.

It is turning the light on and entering the room.

It is being brave enough to open those boxes that have been stored for years and looking at old, embarassing and unflattering pictures of yourself.

It is processing and unpacking, throwing away some and re-arranging contents.

It is moving that box and then realizing there is a trap door that was hidden in the shadows that leads to a whole other dark room where you need to do it all over again.

One can never fully be woke. It is a journey of fuzzy wakefulness with lots of eye rubbing and stumbling to find the light switch.

073. The power of the opt out

by Leave a Comment

We’ve been taught to go with the flow. Don’t make waves. Don’t make a ruckus. Be non-confrontational.

It can be hard to recondition ourselves and do and go and make waves.

Instead of doing, maybe your way of disrupting is not doing.

Opting out can be an intentional way to eschew the current culture.

What are you doing that feeds the system and what can you do to opt out?