Leaders are often given the accolades or the blame for the outcome of their leading.

But leaders don’t wholly deserve either.

Take the handling of the pandemic.

I have heard people say countries like New Zealand and Taiwan have done well because they have a female Prime Minister or President.

I don’t think they deserve the full credit.

Their leadership is a direct result of a culture that voted in a female leader. While those women made decisions that helped their country, it only worked because of the culture of the country who said, “Yes, we will listen to her.”

It is easy and also very headline-grabbing to attach any success to one person but more often than not, there is a democratic culture that they are working within whether that be a team or organization or a nation that gives them that power.

The goal is not to be able to elect a female leader, the goal is to create a culture who sees that as an acceptable and vote-worthy decision.

Change is hard.

Obstacles will appear as we seek to disrupt and re-navigate patterns.

“Surmounting” the obstacles feels forced and tiring and dominating.

What if obstacles could be tended to? What if tenderness is the way through the obstacles?

Running through a cramp is one way of dealing with it. We certainly can say we dominated that cramp – showed it who’s boss! – by overriding our body’s signals and doing the thing we want to do and reaching that goal.

But what if we tended to that cramp instead? What if we massaged and heat pack’ed and gave it time?

What goal is worth dominating over something else whether that be our bodies or minds or the bodies or minds of others? What if, instead, we tended to all of those?

Our actions do not occur in a vacuum.

I’ve been a couple of times recently – is it love or fear that is driving this thought or decision?

As Elizabeth Gilbert says in Big Magic (paraphrased), our fear can come along for the ride but they are not allowed to be in the driver’s seat.

Another word for fear is ego – that part of ourselves that acts on impulse, on scarcity, on trauma and on all the things that keep us small and seemingly safe.

What is another word for love, then, if we were to personify it?

At this moment, the words that come to me are “higher self” or maybe my best self or maybe it’s my holiest self. While the words escape me at the moment, the feeling of love is very definitive and a stark contrast to fear.

When making my decisions as of late, I have tried to check in with my body and ask “Is this love or fear?” and then trust what my body is telling me.

The price of a product or service is not simply the cost plus % upcharge and ultimately, irrelevant to the seller.

The price is representative of the value to the purchaser. The value is completely subjective and a logical approach to pricing is not going to be effective.

To find the right price for our products or services, we have to tune into our buyer, understand what is the value of our product or service and charge that.

Paying is a commitment of the buyer to themselves that they value our product and service and feel it will improve their life in a certain way. Paying is a commitment for them to that change. It has nothing to do with us though our ego wants to think otherwise.

As buyers, we pay what we want to pay, and that determination is steeped in self-beliefs and our sense of worthiness. How much we are willing to pay is linked to how much we believe we deserve that thing and as much as we want to blame a seller for pricing an item “too high,” the price has nothing to do with them, but everything to do with us.

At its core, your truth does not negate my truth.

And, at its core, my truth does not negate your truth.

Our truths can co-exist even if they appear opposing because truths are not meant to take another person down. Truths are meant to lift up the truth teller and truth seeker.

Ego is the one who sees otherwise. Ego is the one who thinks one truth can be truer than another but that can’t actually happen. Ego is the one who wants to use someone’s truth against them.

But when we live and embody our truths, we start learning the difference of living from truth vs. ego.

Thoughts can sound rough around the edges in our heads. They roll around a bit never quite finding a place to settle.

But talking smooths those rough edges out.

Talking helps evolve those thoughts, sand down the prickly areas.

I grew up with the idea of “saving face” to mean moving on quickly so that the other party almost forgets about the problem. Saving face is more like turning and facing the other way so that my face is no longer associated with the problem. Saving face means to retain respect and avoid humiliations.

That is not an honorable way to live.

How I actually want to practice “saving face” is to apologize so that I can show my face to that person in the future. This is a tough practice as it goes against what is ingrained in me and maybe in my mother and her mother. But it is time to see saving face in a new light.

Our path isn’t necessarily laid out so the trip is comfortable. Nor is it straightforward without obstacles.

Sometimes in our path is a spiral staircase leading us to the next level.

A spiral staircase seems a bit unnecessary.

It can be dizzying to go in circles.

It can feel repetitive to go in circles.

An especially tight spiral’s tiny steps feel tedious.

But even with all of that, you are ascending.

What do you need permission to do?

What do you need permission to be?

Who are you waiting for to give you the green light to finally stand in your power?

How would it feel to feel it?

We are all intuitive but it can be hard to summon when our social conditioning tells us to trust others more than ourselves and when our trauma creates layers of protection around it.

Know that it is within you.