The continuous circle of mothering is a thing of beauty.

Mothers are meant to be mothered while mothering – it’s the way it’s worked for all of humanity.

We are mothered as babes, and then when we become mothers, we mother while being mothered again.

Then in return, we mother our mothers as they get older.

Wounds and ruptured are repaired in that circle. A greater understanding of ourselves and the way we mother can be seen when we are in close proximity to our own mothers. Our culture has deprived us of this beautiful healing cycle.

Mothering with our biological mothers may not be available to us in modern mothering, but caring for elders and peer mothers and being cared for similarly are attainable, healing and needed.

Mathematically speaking, half of the people in any room (or Zoom room) is below average (I first heard this concept from Seth Godin).

If I somehow ended up in a room with Nobel Prize nominees, I would be way below average in terms of world changing accomplishments.

And if I was in a room with veteran hair stylists, I would be way below average in terms of hair cutting abilities.

But being below average in either room is a great thing. It is an opportunity to learn and be inspired.

The calculation of “best” is not quite that simple.

What is being calculated?

Your best friend does not hold that position solely because she answers your phone calls every time. It’s also because of the way she listens, the time she stood up to your 5th grade bully, her dry sense of humor and a million other things that are incalculable and impossible to define.

Also, who is doing the calculating?

My version of best will almost surely not be your version of best.

Don’t let the idea of everyone else’s “best” stifle you.

You have control over what is being calculated and who is doing it.

Where is your point of no return?

For some, it is climbing the ladder.

For others, it is taking the first step onto the diving board.

Some may say – not until the moment her legs leave the board and her body is in forward motion.

And a few others could say it was all the way back when they decided to make the dive in the first place.

Our commitment to dive in varies person to person.

Identify where your point of no return is and get there.

We’ve been trained to say “I’m sorry” before actually knowing what we are sorry for.

How often have you apologized because someone else misunderstood you?

This culture did not start with us.

Where did this learned reflex come from? Who taught us that we are supposed to apologize for others’ reactions when we never actually caused any harm and may have actually been the victim?(!)

What power are we giving away in those automatic and unnecessary apologies?

How would it feel to hold ground as someone else realizes their mistake?

There is no love like a mother’s love.

It is what has sustained us generation after generation.

That love is in the air that we breathe, in the way we walk, in our bones.

At times, it is a wonder if love is enough.

And the answer is – yes, it is.

Your love, as flawed as it may be, is more powerful than the most perfect hate.

Your love is light and if there is ever a crack, it will make its way in and shine brightly until shadows disappear.

All tension can be released with a simple sigh.

It doesn’t matter how it comes out.

It can be loud. It can be soft.

It can be guttural. It can be airy.

Close the eyes.

Breathe deeply in through the nose.

Breathe out of a relaxed, open mouth.

Let it out while dropping our shoulders.

Feel the itty bitty bits of tension between muscles and fascia release as we sink into our seats.

The sigh can turn the day around.

Turn the body around.

Give it a try.

As parents, we have no control over what lessons our children will carry forward.

We try with all our might to instill values, provide memories and share wisdom but there is no guarantee any of it sticks.

Seemingly trivial moments may impress as trauma in their bodies.

We are not their barometer. But we are have the opportunity to be home base where they feel safe, protected, heard and seen.

Parenting is a practice of trust.

Trust in ourselves that we are what our children need. And trust in our children that they will be able to journey on with what they carry forward.

Those optical illusions where you see either a duck or a rabbit, or a young woman or an old woman, show us that it is all a matter of perspective. A shift of perspective can greatly change what we see.

And ultimately, it is a choice.

A choice to see the other image.

A choice to acknowledge there is another image.

A choice to look for another image.

When we look in the mirror, what do we choose to see?

When we see our children, what do we choose to focus on?

When we examine our life, how do we choose to frame our experiences?

Every knot, no matter how tangly, messy, and gnarly, can be undone.

That is the beauty of sitting down and slowly undoing the nest of necklaces and bracelets formed in neglected jewelry boxes. There is a solution even if it takes hours to reveal.

Every challenge is a knot that can be undone.

The actions that originally created the problem are not the ones that will solve them. Corrective action needs to be taken. And once the problem is untangled, you are left with an adornment you can wear saying, “This happened, I solved it and now it’s part of me.”