Over the last year while writing my daily blogs, I have often used a specific track on the Insight Timer app to get me in “writing mode.” Sometime during the year, the app introduced a “daily check-in” feature where they ask to choose my current mood. The options are Great, Good, Okay, Bad and Awful.
I have selected “Okay” 99% of the time.
The first 10 times that I selected “Okay”, I didn’t think anything of it. But as I continued to select it, it started concerning me.
I was usually logging into the app before writing, something I love to do. Was something wrong with me because I was choosing Okay all the time? Shouldn’t I be feeling Great or at the very least Good if I was just about to start writing? Shouldn’t I be grateful to be doing something I love?
As I continued to select “Okay” over several months, I became okay with being okay because it was true! I toyed with the idea of choosing Good to see if I could trick myself into upping my mood.
But really, “Okay” was the most accurate way to describe how life was going. In our house, we had a bunch of tough stuff happen in 2021. And while I have really enjoyed my creative work, it wasn’t enough to override all of the other emotions happening in my body.
There is probably a way to trick the mind into upleveling my mood but I was not so interested in that. I didn’t want to pretend to be good or great. And I don’t think that being okay is a bad thing. It doesn’t mean that I am not enjoying or appreciating life.
How we feel is separate from how thankful we are.
And having that tension between the two is okay.
I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.