Lisa for Real

009. The art of storytelling

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We are masterful storytellers.

Not in the way of writing fantasy novels or epic movies but in the stories we tell ourselves every.single.day.

We create stories to make sense of why our child is “disobeying.”

We develop twisted plotlines to explain why our partner never takes out the trash.

We tell epic sagas of how life would be better if only.

The stories we tell ourselves are often painful but they don’t have to be.

Instead, what if your stories helped you see the good in the world, widen your perspective and offer more compassion to yourself and others?

008. Parenting Data Points

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Modern parenting is hard because we lack data points.

Our ancestors parented in villages where there were lots of kids – lots of walking, talking data points.

Without data points, it is impossible to gauge what is “normal.”

With one kid, we rely on Google searches or stalk our friends’ Facebook profiles to see when their kids started crawling/babbling/pottying.

With two kids, “normal” development exists linearly, on a spectrum of more/less, slower/faster, sooner/later.

Introduce a third child and you start getting unforeseeable “outlier” behavior.

Introduce a fourth (and more) and you realize how large and wide a spectrum “normal” actually is.

007. I can only imagine

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I am continually flabbergasted at the alternate realities white and BIPOC live in.

As a Chinese person, I can only imagine what it’s like to witness what’s unfolding in the U.S. as a Black, Brown or Indigenous person.

Imagining is a privilege in itself. And that privilege does diddly squat for marginalized folks.

Imagining is safe and buffers us against reality.

Instead, we need to call out and name white supremacy and racism when we see them. We need to get educated, donate, march, and mobilize. We need to start shaking others awake.

Because everyone deserves the privilege to imagine.

006. Karma

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Wayne Dyer said, “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”

I remember my head nearly exploding the first time I heard this.

His interpretation of karma has freed me and my ego (though I need a good reminding every once in a while).

Ultimately, we don’t have control over others’ actions. We only have control over our own. If others treat me poorly, it has nothing to do with me. Furthermore, if others treat me kindly, it also has nothing to do with me.

All that matters is how I choose to act and react.

005. Simple solutions

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Take in a deep inhale…

Release an exhale slowly…

It takes only a moment to reset with a cleansing breath so why don’t I do it more often?

Being a thinker, I find value in solutions that are more complex. It’s gotta have a framework, tutorial, multiple steps and bonus points if it’s got footnotes and cited sources.

I tell myself a story that I’m a multi-dimensional person who needs multi-dimensional answers.

But what if what we seek doesn’t have to be complicated?

Ultimately, we are simple people working with reptilian brains.

Maybe simple solutions are all we need.

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