According to Oxford Dictionary, to “go rogue” means to “behave erratically or dangerously, especially by disregarding the rules or the usual way of doing something.”

In 2012, I went “rogue.”

I veered off of my glorified career path and quit a job without a plan.

I’m not a risk taker, but with my self worth and personal dignity in the balance, I knew that I had to leave.

In other words, I chose myself.

My entire trajectory pivoted with that one action and turned into many more of choosing myself.

What if going rogue is only “erratic” and “dangerous” to the observer?

And instead, what if it is exactly what you need?

We are masterful storytellers.

Not in the way of writing fantasy novels or epic movies but in the stories we tell ourselves every.single.day.

We create stories to make sense of why our child is “disobeying.”

We develop twisted plotlines to explain why our partner never takes out the trash.

We tell epic sagas of how life would be better if only.

The stories we tell ourselves are often painful but they don’t have to be.

Instead, what if your stories helped you see the good in the world, widen your perspective and offer more compassion to yourself and others?

Modern parenting is hard because we lack data points.

Our ancestors parented in villages where there were lots of kids – lots of walking, talking data points.

Without data points, it is impossible to gauge what is “normal.”

With one kid, we rely on Google searches or stalk our friends’ Facebook profiles to see when their kids started crawling/babbling/pottying.

With two kids, “normal” development exists linearly, on a spectrum of more/less, slower/faster, sooner/later.

Introduce a third child and you start getting unforeseeable “outlier” behavior.

Introduce a fourth (and more) and you realize how large and wide a spectrum “normal” actually is.

I am continually flabbergasted at the alternate realities white and BIPOC live in.

As a Chinese person, I can only imagine what it’s like to witness what’s unfolding in the U.S. as a Black, Brown or Indigenous person.

Imagining is a privilege in itself. And that privilege does diddly squat for marginalized folks.

Imagining is safe and buffers us against reality.

Instead, we need to call out and name white supremacy and racism when we see them. We need to get educated, donate, march, and mobilize. We need to start shaking others awake.

Because everyone deserves the privilege to imagine.

Wayne Dyer said, “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”

I remember my head nearly exploding the first time I heard this.

His interpretation of karma has freed me and my ego (though I need a good reminding every once in a while).

Ultimately, we don’t have control over others’ actions. We only have control over our own. If others treat me poorly, it has nothing to do with me. Furthermore, if others treat me kindly, it also has nothing to do with me.

All that matters is how I choose to act and react.