When some people hear that they have to “work on their mindset,” they think they have to all of a sudden be positive. It seems to be the flavor of many teachers.

There is a fine line in seeing the silver lining and sugarcoating something. 

One is a positive perspective. Another is delusionary.

Working on your mindset is not about completely ignoring the bad and only seeing the good or making up the good. You’ll end up living in a fantasy world.

Working on your mindset is to be aware of when things are bad and choose to SIT in it while ALSO acknowledging the positive parts (when the time is right and your mind, body and nervous system are ready for that acknowledgment).

We will fail if we believe that a “good” mindset is one where we put on rose-colored Barbie-pink glasses and trick ourselves into seeing a wonderful life. Life will inevitably give us moments that try us and if we continue to ignore and dismiss the “bad,” we will lose the capacity to hold those experiences when they come our way.


I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.