The ego in us wants recognition, reassurance and to be told we are good.

And I wonder, is the ego really just a child who never received what they needed?

As an adult, I’d like to think I am not looking for external validation anymore, but then circumstances arise and I witness myself seeking that it. I grew up with my mother trusting me to get good grades and never asking for my report card after middle school.

With parenting you are damned if you give your child that external validation and damned if you withhold it. If I received it from my mom, I likely would have felt so much pressure to get good grades and then that pressure spreading to other areas as I got older. Since I didn’t receive it, I seek it and then get totally awkward when someone affirms my abilities.

Quieting the ego is how we decondition, and often it is in giving it recognition, reassurance and to be told they are good.


I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.