After my workshop on forgiveness last year, some attendees asked me how to forgive someone who is actively still hurting them.

I cannot say that forgiveness is always possible. However, if it is desired but hard to practice, there is something that I do believe is necessary before – that is compassion.

As I’ve written previously, “The way that I practice forgiveness is by anchoring into that person’s humanity.” It is through understanding that person as the version of them outside of the hurt that we can start dipping our toes into forgiveness. Hurt people hurt and when we can see that and feel compassion, we can start venturing towards forgiveness.

This also helps when we feel like we cannot forgive ourselves for mistakes or decisions we’ve made in the past that continue to actively harm us. Self compassion must come before self forgiveness, and we can do so actively, mindfully and intentionally.


I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.