I love to start new projects. I come out of the gates at top speed and sustain it for a little bit but then start slowing down as I approach the finish.

With 15 posts left of this year long journey, I’m dragging. It is a supreme form of self sabotage. Get distracted by all the other things going on – work, family, holiday shopping, Candy Crush…yeah…that’s when I know I’m in a state of avoiding.

Growing up, I remember my mom saying, when “You finish that, there’s no more.” It left me with this belief that endings were bad. That no more will come when I’m finished.

I have always had a tough time with endings. Serious FOMO that caused me to stay up as late as possible to hang out with my cousins. A whole day of tears on the last day of high school. Experiencing withdrawal after reading all the Harry Potter series.

This feat of endings is also apparent in how I use products, especially personal care products.

Currently, I have a bottle of (expensive) mouth wash sitting in my medicine cabinet with maybe one or two rinses left in it. It has had that amount left in it for about 3 years. And now that it’s three years later, I won’t even use it because it’s so old! But I can’t seem to get myself to through it out because I’m not going to get anymore and it’d be a waste.

Times that I am okay with finishing a product is when I know there is more – when the end is just a beginning (yes, Green Day’s “Time of Your Life” was on repeat at my high school graduation). I buy my floss in bulk to ensure I don’t stop flossing.

In the case of this blog, I know another year will come and I will continue blogging daily. This ending is just a beginning but boy is it tough to break this habit.

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I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.