I love to start new projects. I come out of the gates at top speed and sustain it for a little bit but then start slowing down as I approach the finish.
With 15 posts left of this year long journey, I’m dragging. It is a supreme form of self sabotage. Get distracted by all the other things going on – work, family, holiday shopping, Candy Crush…yeah…that’s when I know I’m in a state of avoiding.
Growing up, I remember my mom saying, when “You finish that, there’s no more.” It left me with this belief that endings were bad. That no more will come when I’m finished.
I have always had a tough time with endings. Serious FOMO that caused me to stay up as late as possible to hang out with my cousins. A whole day of tears on the last day of high school. Experiencing withdrawal after reading all the Harry Potter series.
This feat of endings is also apparent in how I use products, especially personal care products.
Currently, I have a bottle of (expensive) mouth wash sitting in my medicine cabinet with maybe one or two rinses left in it. It has had that amount left in it for about 3 years. And now that it’s three years later, I won’t even use it because it’s so old! But I can’t seem to get myself to through it out because I’m not going to get anymore and it’d be a waste.
Times that I am okay with finishing a product is when I know there is more – when the end is just a beginning (yes, Green Day’s “Time of Your Life” was on repeat at my high school graduation). I buy my floss in bulk to ensure I don’t stop flossing.
In the case of this blog, I know another year will come and I will continue blogging daily. This ending is just a beginning but boy is it tough to break this habit.
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