I was in a funk the last couple of weeks, brought on by the reality of parenting one adult short in my house. It felt like I had a grayish green haze surrounding me within a 10 ft radius. My usually positive and cheerful outlook was weighed down with additional responsibilities and overwhelm, and the world looked different.
Today, I experienced a lifting of that haze. I had pessimistic expectations of a conversation, and it surprisingly didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. That surprise disrupted the stream of negative thoughts – it showed my brain a different path to take not only for this conversation but also for everything else going on in my life.
I have gotten to a point where I can recognize these periods while I am in them. However, being positive isn’t something that one’s brain can conjure up during these funks. This experience has shown me that maybe instead of gaslighting myself and trying to fake positivity, I can welcome the element of surprise instead.
I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.