We can say something is important (and really believe it) but then we do not make decisions that reflect that belief or value.

That misalignment between what we say and what we do is a tale as old as time.

It is a prime example of what we think and what we be at odds with one another. Our logical, conscious brain is saying X and our subconscious is saying X is actually not important because of some ingrained beliefs that totally go against them. And because our subconscious makes up 95% of our thoughts and actions, our conscious side doesn’t stand a chance.

For instance, I can say I want to spend more quality time with my partner and kids. And then all of a sudden, I opt to do other things, like making dinner or working extra or taking longer at the supermarket than planned, that take me away from them. While we can reason and say we genuinely need to do those things or that we can’t control how long the cashier is taking, the driver of those decisions is a part of us that does not speak to reason. The driver of those decisions is the parts of us that grew up seeing work being the priority or feeling like family time was the worst time because that’s when a parent would yell at us.

It is hard to get called out on the misalignment because we don’t want to be wrong. However, if we are to live the life we are proud of and excited for, we have to come into alignment.

Addressing the subconscious is our biggest work if we want to be happy, healthy and at peace with ourselves.

(If you’re ready to address your subconscious, send me a note to see if working together makes sense.)


I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.