Our relationships show patterns to us.

If we are a puzzle piece, we bring others into our lives who fit into the shape of our puzzle piece. If we continually see that our relationships aren’t working, we need to address our puzzle piece. (After all, it is the only the thing we have control over.)

If I get irked about the same thing over and over again in my relationships, I take a hard (it’s very hard) look at myself to see what I may be doing to continually bring about this pattern. And then I address it at its core.

This does not mean that you are at fault or are to blame. This also does not mean that you can’t be upset about these patterns or tough relationships. And it does not absolve the other person/people’s actions (but their business is not your responsibility!). This approach is investigative and solutions oriented. Once we can address how we are creating the pattern, we can start having different relationships.


I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.