My kids hear the word “maybe” a lot, a little too often (maybe?). It is usually in response to when they ask me – “Can we go for a walk after dinner/go to the library tomorrow/watch TV?” Giving a concrete answer yes or no answer is not my forte. Initially, I thought it is because there are so many factors to consider – how am I supposed to give a ‘for sure’ answer?! And the thing with my kids (and I think kids in general) is that their memory is impeccable, so I avoid giving a concrete “yes” because it’ll just come right back to me when they say, “I want to. You said [insert my words verbatim]!”
Thinking deeper on this and because I am in the midst of doing some personal work on boundaries, I realize that this inability to say yes or no is a result of a lack of boundaries. By saying maybe, I am leaving the door open because areas of my life seep into one another (e.g., lack of boundaries) and can impact schedules and whatnot. The inability to say no is also a sign of lack of boundaries.
I don’t have a concrete conclusion to this maybe phenomenon but I’m looking forward to resolving it and I’m sure my kids will too!
The two books I am reading/listening to are Boundary Boss by Terri Cole and Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.