My kids hear the word “maybe” a lot, a little too often (maybe?). It is usually in response to when they ask me – “Can we go for a walk after dinner/go to the library tomorrow/watch TV?” Giving a concrete answer yes or no answer is not my forte. Initially, I thought it is because there are so many factors to consider – how am I supposed to give a ‘for sure’ answer?! And the thing with my kids (and I think kids in general) is that their memory is impeccable, so I avoid giving a concrete “yes” because it’ll just come right back to me when they say, “I want to. You said [insert my words verbatim]!”
Thinking deeper on this and because I am in the midst of doing some personal work on boundaries, I realize that this inability to say yes or no is a result of a lack of boundaries. By saying maybe, I am leaving the door open because areas of my life seep into one another (e.g., lack of boundaries) and can impact schedules and whatnot. The inability to say no is also a sign of lack of boundaries.
I don’t have a concrete conclusion to this maybe phenomenon but I’m looking forward to resolving it and I’m sure my kids will too!
The two books I am reading/listening to are Boundary Boss by Terri Cole and Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
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