Since the latter half of 2020, I’ve been staying up late late. Until 2:00 or 3:00 and even 4:00 AM for a couple of weeks this past spring. I’ve desperately tried to capture the “me” in time and just like in the word, I’ve found it at the end of the day.
I’ve heard from so many successful, respectable and productive people that morning time is the best time for them to do their reflection, meditation, writing and all those things that fill their soul. When I hear that, for a moment, I start to think – “Maybe I should wake up early too.” But as quickly as that thought bubble appears, it is popped by images of children waking up early and interrupting me.
When I go against “best practices” like waking up early to do the self-work, I second guess myself. My reasons sound like excuses. Aside from the unpredictability of my kids, reasons like “I’m not a morning person” or “I work better at night” sound like flaws or empty rationalizations.
But in reality, they are truths. I’ve never been someone who wakes up early to finish something (yes, I stayed up late in 8th grade to create my family shield for my history class – I got a 99 :). I like going to bed knowing something is done – I wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise! I love working in the quiet of the night with the occasional howl of the wolves vs. the twittering of birds in the morning. These aren’t excuses – they are honoring my innate make-up and what works best for me.
It doesn’t matter what works best for other people. They don’t live my life, in my body, with my realities. Only I can say if something is right for me, and I have every right to change it as my circumstances and self evolve.
A daily practice challenges the person who creates on “inspiration.” We have to mother everyday, and ultimately, it is the daily grind that gives us perspective, clarity and the “high’s” of motherhood. I am exploring if the same happens when I write everyday on the topics that normally light me up – motherhood, self-development, healing and creating. Sign up here to receive those thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.