I have always been the “helper” in my family. The adults looked to me to get things done and to do it without complaint. It was a role that I was proud to be able to do for people who took care of me.
It is no surprise that I became a coach.
Having grown up as the helper, it has been a really hard lesson for me to take on to not always be the helper.
Most people don’t want unsolicited advice whether it be from a family member, a friend, a colleague or a complete stranger.
It has been a hard balance to strike.
I want to help everyone! But it is not my place to insert myself in conversations or decisions that were never meant to involve me.
I have to be okay that others are on their life path. And I can do what I can to support them to the extent that they want the help.
However, I can’t be all the things for everyone. And no one wants that either. They want sovereignty. They want to have ownership of what happens to them.
It has taken many years of practice to not interject every time it sounded like someone could benefit from what I know or can do. I still find myself biting my tongue a few times a week.
It continues to be a journey, and I know it is okay to be in the messy middle and still celebrate it all.
I write everyday because it allows me to voice what is at the surface. Once that is out of my head, I can dig in another layer deeper. My daily writing practice has been my greatest exploration of self and humanity. Sign up here to receive these thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.