One of the biggest reasons I write how I write is because I have journaled since 4th grade. Writing provided me an outlet to express thoughts that had nowhere else to go. So much of my emotional development occurred on the wide-ruled pages of my Mead notebook journals. I very much see this blog as glorified journaling.
The other big reason I write how I write is because, growing up, most of the people in my house didn’t speak or read English. Journaling was safe because I never feared any backlash or judgement.
Tonight, my oldest child read my blog. It was emotional to see her scrolling through and taking in the words that are often inspired by her or her siblings. They are usually slumbering 10 feet from me in our dimmed bedroom as the thoughts I have throughout the day come spilling out during the late evening hours.
Watching her read my words, I realized that I was no longer writing in private. Yes, I know I have readers (thank you!) but it is quite different when these intimate thoughts are read by those who are closest to me.
I started to wonder – will I change the way I write now that I know she may log into my site at any point?
I am proud to say the conclusion was no.
After hearing some advice on a podcast or in a book many years ago, I set an intention to only write my story on this blog – not my kids’ or my partner’s or anyone else’s. I know that each of the posts on this site are true to me. My children reading them does not change my truth.
And so today, another page is turned on this path of creating. I am so excited and a little nervous about my kids reading these words. And yet, I know this is very much part of my legacy, an extension of my parenting and an example to them to unapologetically be who they are in every space they occupy.
