I started seeing a therapist who is of East Asian descent.
After two sessions, I shared with a friend that I wasn’t sure if I was gaining anything from going to a therapist who “looked like me.”
In my third session, I told my therapist that I served as the family translator while growing up and had to take care of all sorts matter by calling many different people on the phone.
Upon reflection, I realized that I did not have to spend time after that part of the session to field questions from my therapist about why that was something I did, what it meant to my family and how it is a big part of my identity growing up.
The benefit of this therapist/client relationship was not about seeing someone who looked like me on the other side of the screen (though I recognize this could definitely be a benefit to someone else!). In other words, it wasn’t a benefit for me to see her and our familiarities. The benefit was for her to see me! I hadn’t realized how much energy I put forth in either translating and explaining my stories for an unaware audience or in avoiding sharing certain stories altogether.
Sometimes, we don’t realize how our very normal things are not that normal. I’m sure as I go through more sessions, I will realize other ways I unknowingly compensate for my identity.
A daily practice challenges the person who creates on “inspiration.” We have to mother everyday, and ultimately, it is the daily grind that gives us perspective, clarity and the “high’s” of motherhood. I am exploring if the same happens when I write everyday on the topics that normally light me up – motherhood, self-development, healing and creating. Sign up here to receive those thought nuggets in your inbox on the daily.