If left unattended, our Inner Child will run the show.
As a child, I was the one who adults relied on to do many things – of course she is going to continue to run the show if left to her devices! She will continue to make decisions out of fear and scarcity and in the name of safety and security.
It wasn’t until I was a mother that I realized how traumatic my childhood was. A therapist stated, ‘It sounds like your childhood was traumatic.’ And I said, ‘Oh it was fine.’ Then she asked if I would want my daughter to go through the childhood I went through. When tears started flowing down my cheeks, I realized that my childhood was indeed traumatic.
Between the ages of 7 to 12, I used to have dreams of protecting my house from invaders of all sorts including mice and gangs and one time, Beebop and Rocksteady from the Ninja Turtles even showed up. Those dreams were my way of processing the responsibilities I held which directly impacted my family’s financial situation, health coverage and safety.
As a parent, I can now recognize how overwhelming it would be for a 7 year old to experience what I experienced. Now, it is up to adult me to step in and say to my inner child, “Hey, you don’t need to be responsible for anything anymore. You don’t need to protect the family. I’ve got it. You go off and play.”
And like children, I have to repeat this message in different situations to remind her that what I said before also applies to this situation. Each time she makes her exit, I can run the show, at least until the next trigger shows up.
