152. When positivity is not the answer

The days are long but the years are short.

Because of this reality, someone well intentioned may say “stay positive” or “this is only a phase” or “you’ll get through this” to mother who is –

• sad to return back to work after having a baby last week
• not getting enough sleep because she is waking up often with her child
• struggling to breastfeed and crying because her insurance does not cover visits from a lactation consultant
• quitting her job to stay home with both kids because daycare costs are more than her salary
• working multiple jobs to keep food on the table

Saying those positive statements may feel good to the person saying it but it completely dismisses the experience of the mother and places the burden on her. It says that if she’d only change her mindset, then things will get better.

It is NOT her responsibility to be positive when our society is absent of the support and resources that mothers need to be able to mother and live and work the way that they desire.

Staying positive when the system is broken is NOT the answer.