I have been looking towards this number day for a while – 265 means there are only 100 days left to the year.

It is totally arbitrary and yet feels important at the same time.

Our brains create meaning where they want to.

100 days feels quite significant. It feels like the right time to look back to see what has happened for me so far this year and to look forward in gratitude for what will happen for me the rest of the year.

We are always in this space and time of ‘now’ where there is always a before and after. We always have a choice to say if life is happening for us or to us. We have agency in making meaning or not to.

While the earth may revolve around the sun and spin on its axis without any input from me, there is no doubt that those planetary miracles are happening for me. Perhaps the same can be said for all the other things around me whether there is any input from me.

I have had busy periods in my life and often, there is a “finish line.” Weeks of obligations and things to check off my list and I tell myself – then I will rest after I finish XYZ.

Having a goal post or a finish line gives me something to work towards. And it can also make me put my blinders on and forget to check in with my body, my relationships and my soul.

It can feel “on purpose” to work towards something, and yet, ultimately, there is really no finish line. We should be pausing everyday, maybe every hour to ask ourselves “is this still what I want?” “does this still make sense?” “have my needs and desires changed at all?”

And then after asking these questions, we wait.

Wait until we get an answer from our inner knowing, from our soul, from our wisest self.

Say no to doing what you don’t want to do.

Say yes to doing what you do want to do.

Whether we say yes or we say no, lets work towards the life we want to lead.

Make sure you don’t switch those yes’s and no’s.

I realized lately, I cringe at the word “fun.” I don’t consider myself a “fun” parent. My idea of fun is hunkering down at my computer and solving an Excel problem.

Fun is circular with no beginning and no end. There’s no actual productive output.

My upbringing and capitalism have drained all of the funny out of my bones (I do have fun with words though :).

Because of this, it is something I am deeply exploring because we all deserve to have fun. To be able to enjoy ourselves in the moment of doing something without being concerned of what the long term vision is or if it aligns with this or that part of our life.

What is the adult version of fun? More importantly, what is MY version of fun? Is it coloring books with way too many details? Is it going out for dinner with friends? Is it perusing the shelves of the local bookstore without a purpose in mind?

I’m embracing this exploration as I think so much of me needs to rekindle her relationship to fun. What do you consider fun? I’d love some ideas.

What advice are you giving that you should be taking?

It is so much easier to hold the role of “Wise One” for others. Their problems are clear as day! 

And what is beautiful is that others are very often a mirror of ourselves. What we admire in others is within us and what we critique of others is also within us. 

With this awareness, we should be taking more of our own medicine.